Green Eyes and Carnival Rides
by senseofwonder
Summary: "He watched with quiet entrancement. The girl who had the most irritating iridescent eyes was shooting at Uncle Rick's stand, her face set into complete concentration..." Fifteen year old Patrick Jane notices a green eyed girl and her little brothers at the Carnival. Hints of Jisbon. A lot of Jane and Lisbon's past. My first fan fiction ever! Now a Two Shot!
1. Chapter 1

Green Eyes and Carnival Rides

There was something about green eyes that Patrick could never get over. Emerald tugged at his heart, mint clouded his mind, and teal taunted his soul.

These were some of the best green eyes he had ever seen.

* * *

Her eyes scanned the field, grass that was brown and tinged green at the edges, tall tents striped like candy and the Ferris wheel turning and turning and turning like a life that would never end. The city skyline faded behind her, looking as if she could take an eraser to it and scrub it all clean.

Twilight was heading, as it always did, into darkness and that made her feel better somehow, the lights of the carnival twinkling like the fireflies she used to catch in jelly jars, the orange of the sky mingling with dark indigo and navy. The faces began to blur too and the outfits and skin colours and hair styles became silhouetted.

The whole scene was beautiful really, and though she had been hesitant to venture there on the risk of seeing anyone from school, she was glad she did. She prayed a silent prayer that she wouldn't run into Chase, the footballer (the sight of whose hands curled round a pencil was the reason she was borderline failing Math), or Laura, his cheerleader girlfriend (who never hesitated to criticise anything she chose to wear as if she didn't already feel bad enough about it). That teenage yearning in her was more present than usual today; the carnival seemed to be weaving its magic on her gradually hardening heart.

The spell broke as Tommy let out an impressive belch and James laughed loudly and little Andy giggled next to her, his hand twitching in hers.

"Delightful" Teresa muttered, with a roll of her famous eyes.

"Can we go on _that_ Reese?" Andy jumped up and down, his scruffy boots kicking up dust from the dry ground. He was pointing at the Ferris wheel and Teresa plastered on a smile.

"Sure bud. Tommy'll take you, wont you?" Teresa would never admit to her brothers that she was scared of anything.

Thomas pouted. "I want to go shoot" he gestured at a booth with little targets and guns that looked shockingly real. "Ferris wheels are for babies Andy. I'll win you a dinosaur instead?"

"I want cotton candy" James stated.

"How much have we got in the savings account Reesy Roo?" Tommy asked, bracing himself for disappointment. At eleven, Tommy was aware that the "savings account" was the back pocket of Teresa's jeans and that there usually wasn't much inside.

"Yeh, Yeh, Yeh, Yeh" James poked at his sister's arm, bouncing, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Teresa pulled out some crumpled notes, a few coins jangling together in her hands. Seven dollars. Two each then and maybe they could get some cotton candy to share with the last. As she explained her plan to the boys, she handed Tommy and James their two dollars, painfully aware of the bruising under the perfect pair of green eyes. Guilt stabbed at her. Usually she got in the way in time, this last time James had been unlucky.

"Bud?" Teresa looked her brother dead in the eyes.

James turned his head away. "I'm fine" he mumbled.

"Terrible fall wasn't it?" Tommy raised his voice a little higher than usual, taking his quarters off Teresa. "You should be more careful on the stairs Jim. Come on, let's shoot some stuff." They took off running before Teresa could move.

She yelled after them "Hey...come back!" then she sighed. "Back here at nine you little punks!"

Tommy turned and gave her a curt nod. She let them go.

"Guess it is just you and me little Lisbon" She squeezed Andy's hand. He nuzzled his feathery black hair into her bare arm.

"Reese, I love you" he said warmly and she smiled again. "Can we go on the Ferris wheel?"

Teresa's stomach flipped. Damn it.

"We'll see" As they walked, she pondered whether it would fine to put him on the wheel by himself. Andrew was soft for a little boy, often teased at kindergarten for playing with the girls or crying too easily when he messed up his numbers but apart from their family jaunts under the bed, Andy didn't back down from anything or anyone. All her brothers were like that, but whereas James and Tommy would punch and scrap, Andrew stood his ground with calm solidarity. He ignored bullies.

Maybe because he knew there wasn't a monster under his bed, because the monster came out of a bottle. Maybe because compared to being under his own roof, a seat high in the sky wasn't scary at all.

Teresa had lived a sheltered life before, a text book, story book childhood. Maybe there she developed her perfectly text book fear of heights.

She couldn't do it, leave him on the Ferris wheel. There were points in her life where she positively hated her brothers, points where she wanted to cry and bawl herself, points where all she wanted was someone she could crawl to and be held by, someone to feed her and wash away her tears. But she had to protect them. Always.

Their eyes belonged to her Mother and if not for anyone she did it for her. She made sure their soft skin didn't bruise, taking it for them and she made sure their young hearts didn't grow cold, covering their eyes and whispering excuses and fairytales at bedtime. She took everything for them. For Mom. For her Father.

Teresa and Andrew got in line for the Ferris wheel. She tried to shake the fear out of her head. It was stupid. So stupid. Teresa Lisbon was scared of stupid things like heights and what people thought of her. She watched the wheel with wide eyes. She feared the motion, round and around and around, never getting anywhere, always getting the same result. She longed for safe, neat endings.

"Reese you are all white. Are you sick?" Andy tugged on her sleeve. "You can still go on if you are sick right? Or you can wait on the side while I go"

Yes. Please.

"No I'm fine. Don't worry about me. You just have fun okay?"

Andy shrugged, trusting her every word. But as it turned out, Teresa didn't have to ride the Ferris wheel after all.

"I am afraid you are too small there young son" The Carnie was tall and spindly, with spiky whiskers and he was chewing the end of a long piece of corn. He tipped his patchy hat back to get a better look at the two of them.

"What do you mean?" Teresa asked, her heart sinking inside her.

The Carnie, seemingly from nowhere, pulled out a long ruler and stood it next to her brother. In dark pen, there was a mark on the rod and Andy's hair sat barely an inch below it.

"Close but no cigar!" The man said, twisting his mouth into a crooked smile, one tooth missing.

"Ah come on!" Teresa sagged. "He's nearly at the height. You can let this one go"

Andy's eyes were bright with tears not yet fallen, beautiful begging green.

"Please" she added.

"Nope. Can't have little boys on there, they slide right off and get hurt" The man said, leaning down towards the small boy, almost taking pleasure in crushing him. Andrew wailed. He directed his attention back to her. "You can hop on though Miss Green eyes"

"You're the devil" She hissed. Andy was now bawling so loudly that people were beginning to stop and see what was happening, sobs shaking through the little boy again and again.

The man winked and Teresa dragged Andy by the hand away from him and from the line of peering people. She crouched down to his level. The boy was close to hysterical, finding it hard to breathe through grief.

"Andy come on buddy. It's not the end of the world" She hated everyone staring. She hated his tears and the misery.

He continued "It's...not...fair" the menace and despair in his eyes was something she hadn't seen before. In Tommy and James, sure. But not Andy and it was finally getting him. She shook his shoulders.

"Andrew stop!" Her own heart was churning. He only cried harder. Teresa picked him up, gathering the tiny boy into her arms and holding him tight. He calmed a little and lifted his head to whisper in her ear.

"Everyone... hates me"

Her heart broke again "No one hates you"

"Daddy does" The words tickled her ear. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"No he doesn't. Remember what I told you? There is real daddy and there is..."

"Sad Daddy" He finished, relaxing into her and jumping a little with hiccups.

"And he loves you" She knew it to be true but she understood.

"And where is Mommy?" Andy sighed, closing his eyes and clasping a section of her hair into a fist behind her neck. He knew the answer; he just wanted to hear it again.

"She lives in a castle by the sea. Not Lake Michigan. The real sea. Somewhere that looks like California and she lives with Kind Jesus who we visit on Sundays and Saint Andrew and Saint Teresa"

"I love you Reese" He said again. She walked him away from the wheel, balancing him in one arm to wipe her eyes quickly. People had gone back to having fun. They were invisible once more.

"Come on. Let's go and win you something huge and fluffy"

* * *

He watched with quiet entrancement. The girl who had the most irritating iridescent eyes was shooting at Uncle Rick's stand, her face set into complete concentration, almost worthy of causing fright. Patrick had figured out early that she was about fifteen and too young to be a young mother, the little boy was her brother. She had handled him well when grief from recent trauma and a hard home life manifested itself in disappointment of not being allowed on the big wheel and she had premature worry lines on her face. This wasn't just a one off babysitting job her parents (or maybe parent) lumbered her with. She looked after the child often. As well as the two other brothers he had seen galloping off earlier. The girl had bruising on her arms. Someone had grabbed her roughly.

As a teenage boy who most often only had the company of his father and various other old men, Patrick was interested in the people who attended the Carnival, bright young things slobbering all over their boyfriends, hyped up children who had been raised in a two up two down houses and attended school, and parents with bank jobs and hair loss caused by stress.

Alex Jane gave the boy wonder half an hour break after the second of the three shows they would do that night to "rest that brilliant mind" and Patrick often spent them just wandering around, looking at the people he knew he would never be like, reading their stories as he passed them. Not once had he followed someone before.

He sat on the railing to the line for the circus tent. What was it about her?

She was doing pretty well, every little pellet was hitting the tiny red star and her little brother was looking more and more hopeful by the minute. But Uncle Rick's stand, the aim to completely obliterate the red star, was the only game at the carnival without a trick because it was impossible anyway.

Patrick knew everyone he travelled with; they all looked out for each other. The carnival folk were family; the "beloved guests" were for tricking. Except for some reason, nothing in Patrick wanted to watch the girl's disappointment when she hadn't won the game, or see the boy cry again when he wasn't handed a stuffed animal. He could read her just as easily as everyone, a green-eyed open book. But hidden between the sentences describing her arrogance and defensiveness and frown lines he saw the brokenness and the vulnerability.

She straightened up smiling, confident. Green eyes had thought she had done it. The game was cruelly designed that way.

Before Patrick could catch himself doing it, he had moved, jumped down from his perch and ran away from the booth, out of sight and then curved back around towards Shoot Out The Star.

"Well, sweetie, you have an aim on you!" She gave a little nod, trying not to be proud. Uncle Rick was a round, bouncy man with red cheeks and a kind smile that compared to Cyrus on the wheel, was easy to feel comfortable with. But Rick had always been close with Patrick's father and the young boy knew his other side, just like he knew every side of every smiling Carnie. He knew his secrets about his wife and his brother and what he kept hidden in his trailer.

Rick turned to retrieve the girl's card "Shall we...Junior!?"

Patrick had reached the booth and bent over pretending to be out of breath from a long run. "Sorry to bother you Uncle Rick" He straightened up "But your trailer, I just saw someone break into it. I tried to catch them but I couldn't" He wiped nothing off his forehead with the back of his arm. "Sorry!"

The Man's eyes had broadened and suddenly he ran off, pushing the tent curtain aside and wobbling as quickly as he could manage towards the trailer park. The girl followed him with her gaze, suppressing a giggle at the comic sight, and while she did Patrick darted behind the booth, grabbed her card and punched every single hint of red paint away leaving just perfect white. He slotted it back and was back by her side before she had even noticed he'd gone.

The brother, however, opened his mouth to rat Patrick out, staring at him with confusion. The boy wonder held a finger to his lips, grinned behind it and winked. It took him a second but the little boy figured it out and his lips cracked into a grin as he looked from Patrick to his sister to the huge green dinosaur hanging above him that would soon be his.

Green eyes turned her attention back to the booth and her brother, worry now colouring her expression.

"Don't be concerned" Patrick said, touching her arm to get her attention. "He'll be back"

She raised one perfect black eyebrow at the stranger, questioning in those eyes. He was as close to them as he would ever be and he took a few extra seconds looking into the endless emerald as he said "Trust me"

For some reason she looked like she did. And then he was gone.

By the time Uncle Rick returned, breathless and disorientated Patrick was sat back on his favourite metal railing, checking the position of the setting sun to see how long he had left before he had to report to his father. The big man picked up Teresa's card, saw the blankness of it and the two siblings' smiling faces and he realised what had just happened. Frowning deeply, his eyes scanned the field for Patrick. He waved from his perch as Rick handed the girl the green dinosaur of her little brother's choice and pointed menacingly back. As the girl and her brother walked away, Patrick felt different.

He had fifteen minutes left until he was supposed to be back and he was suddenly no longer interested in people watching. Hopping down from his railing, he wandered for a while, trying to clear his mind and conscience of the girl with the green eyes. An idea struck him.

Who was he? Certainly not Alex Jane's son. Maybe his mother was a nice person, he wondered as he took up a jog to his next destination, the sort who didn't trick others and liked to see them smile. After tonight he would try to be more like Alex.

"Hello my dear boy. Everything alright?"

"Yes sir" Patrick answered, the screams of the joyous Ferris Wheel riders above him, the machine itself clunking and grinding. Cyrus' eyes sparkled as he let the next set of people in.

"How is the show going? I'll tell you again my boy, Alex is a fine man for a father, you should count yourself lucky for the life you got here"

"I do sir"

There was a pause.

"Can I do anything for you? You seem to be hovering like a bee. I aint got no honey in my pockets I can tell you that right now"

"Well, it's about a girl and her brother. You didn't let them on to the wheel?"

"Ah. I remember. He had a hissy fit right there and then. Very amusing stuff. What has it got to do with you boy?"

"Well I was wondering..."

"That's never good"

"You could let them on couldn't you? I know the kid isn't going to fall off and die Cyrus and you know it too"

"What's this about son? You got a little crush" His eyes twinkled with mocking as Patrick smiled and gave him a tilt of the head, not denying but not confirming.

"You know carnie folk are carnie folk. Got a new family joining us on the road yanno? The Ruskins. Heard they have a daughter about your age"

Patrick waited, knowing that the old man would revisit the question. He was a selfish one, mean and controlling but easy to play because of his flaws.

"What does old Cyrus get out of this deal eh?"

"Well, what do you want?"

He thought about it for a second. "I want you to man my wheel in your breaks every night for the next week. I got some... things I could be doing with a little extra time"

"Done" Patrick grinned. Too easy. It was no wonder he got so bored so often. Well, at least now he had something to do in his free time. A teenage girl in the line gave him a smile back and he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Okay. Well, if they show up again I will let em on. I'll remember that girl I will, pretty little thing she is"

"Thank you sir. I will be back here tomorrow as promised"

Cyrus gave a grunt "You're a strange one Patrick Jane" He said "You just mind yourself okay?"

He had already took off running.

* * *

"You're late you little punks" Teresa cried as Tommy and James showed up, magic and sugar bright in their eyes.

"Oh wow! You guys won a Dinosaur? How? Me and Tommy tried for ages and couldn't win anything"

Andy cuddled the newly but not very imaginatively named Barney close as James grabbed at him with sticky cotton candied hands.

"D'you get on the...?" Teresa shushed Tommy before he mentioned the wheel and gave him a shake of the head. He screwed his face up for a second and then joined in James' admiration of the stuffed dinosaur.

"Okay. Well, time to go home!"

A chorus of disappointment and protest followed.

"Yes. You guys have school tomorrow. Hell, _I _have school tomorrow. And besides, I've exceeded my withdrawal limit on the savings account"

Tommy chuckled and corralled his brothers into moving and they began walk back through the Carnival, each one quietly bracing themselves for anything that could lie ahead of them. Not one of them expected Patrick Jane.

Teresa frowned as the blond boy from the Shoot Out The Star booth approached them. Who was he? A Carnie? You couldn't trust any of them.

"Boys let's go" She encouraged, turning away.

"I don't think you're going to want to do that" The Carnival boy said and she turned and frowned at him hard. Thomas, James and Andrew crowded close at her sides.

"And why not?"

"The Magic Lights Carnival would like to formally apologize for any inconvenience caused earlier by my dear friend Cyrus at the Big Wheel. Would any of you care to ride it now?" His eyes danced, mischievously.

"Yes, yes, YES!" Cried Andy. "Reese, please, please, please"

"We don't have any money left" She hissed at the blonde boy, not looking at Andrew's face falling again.

"Oh it's on the house" He looked from Lisbon to Lisbon "For all of you!"

Andy whooped. James let out a "yay!" and laughed loudly and Tommy's face stretched into a grin.

"Follow me" The boy turned and Teresa's brothers began to follow. Frozen, she took a second and then went after them.

"Wait! Is this for real? They can go on for free? What's the catch? I am not selling any of them to the circus"

The boy belly laughed. "No catch. Four free rides on the Ferris Wheel. I don't ever lie m'am"

"Don't call me that"

"Okay"

"Why?"

"Here at the Magic Lights carnival our visitors are our highest priority. If you're happy, we are happy" He lifted up the rope and let her brothers cut in front of the line. "Cyrus here is deeply apologetic for not letting you on earlier and we wish to make it up to you" He gestured to the devil and he gave a grunt, muttering "Mind yourself boy"

Teresa stood, stunned, the noise of the carnival all around as she tried to make sense of what was happening. The boy swept a hand out, ushering her into the line where her brothers waited.

"Um no. Thank you so much for the offer but they can just ride. I'll stay here"

"There is nothing to be afraid about" He touched her arm lightly like she did before and again she frowned at him. "A phobia of heights is totally irrational. Also, one of your brothers will have to ride alone if you don't"

This boy was impossible! Sighing hard, Teresa went. She chose James to sit by, squeezing in next to him on the seat, her breath quickening, her colour draining. The Machine began cranking, she heard Andy whooping behind her, loud enough for the whole carnival to hear and twisted to see if he was holding on to the rails.

"Here we go!" James yelled and they took off. "Wow. It's so cool isn't it Reese?" she felt James hand nudged her. "Why are you closing your eyes? Look at the Carnival from up here!"

Teresa un-squinted a little. Lights dazzled in front of her, colours and people and animals and sparkles mashed together to make a wonderful scene. The breeze tickled her face, James warm beside her and the bar she held tight too cold. For some reason, she calmed. She almost felt free up there. Safe squidged in beside James, but free like she was flying. She saw Andy and Tommy when she turned, their smiles and green eyes against a backdrop of night sky.

"Don't look down!" Came a voice from below. She saw the Carnie boy and she saw how high up she was and she began to panic again. Who the hell was he? Stupid Carnie Idiot. She was done. She wanted her feet back on solid ground. Wondering how many times the thing turned she looked down again. Blond carnie boy was gone. Good riddance. If she ever saw him again it would be too soon.

"Who was that _amazing_ boy?" Andy trilled, spinning as he walked, still dizzy from the ride as they walked home.

"I don't know" She answered as they passed a few tents, one introducing the "Physic Boy Wonder" loudly. She pushed Tommy past the tent as he began to pause.

"You should date him Reese!" He elbowed her in the ribs and she flicked his ear.

"Reesy has a boyfriend!" James said and the three of them began chanting. "Boyfriend! Boyfriend!"

"Pah! No way little Lisbons. And if I was you I would shut up because next time we won't go to the Carnival"

They stopped, but they still walked with a spring in their steps and a few seconds later Andy piped up. "If the carnival comes back you will definitely take us again"

"Oh yeh, how d'you figure that one out?" She said, grabbing his hand and throwing her arm around James.

"Because you lovveeeeee us!"

Teresa smiled. "I do"

"And you love that Carnival boy"

* * *

Teresa Lisbon stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. She didn't know why she was doing this. Maybe to prove she wasn't in love with him, maybe to prove that she was attractive, maybe because she was bored with games and wanted something simple and easy.

She pulled at her green dress, the one she kept for the rare date she went on, as she walked back to the table. It was a fancy restaurant, he was a doctor, and she deserved this right?

"So Teresa" The man across the table said as she sat "The CBI huh? California Bureau of Investigation" he dragged the words out.

She smiled back at him.

"That is so interesting. Tell me, what made you decide you wanted to do that?"

Teresa hated these questions. She hated opening up, she hated touching her past unless she had to. She couldn't tell him that the only offers of comfort that she received herself on the deaths of both her parents were from the graceful, fascinating investigators from the police, that they were the reason she felt a little safer, knowing there was a force out there working in her favour. She couldn't tell him that investing in other people's grief and worries helped her to forget about her own. She couldn't tell him that it was the innate desire in her to protect people, civilians and families from bad guys; she couldn't tell him it was because she liked safe neat endings.

"Ah. Good story" She began, used to lying "This one time when I was a teenager I went to a carnival..."

"Oh I love carnivals. I used to go all the time with my family as a child"

"Well yeh" She said, shaken at the interruption "I went with friends, a no big deal thing" she sipped her wine. "And I went to one of those booths where you shoot the little star"

"Oh yeh. They are pretty much impossible hey?"

"Well I won. And I thought, hey why not put that talent to good use and here I am"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello All! I decided to write a second chapter after all the lovely reviews and ideas you wrote to me. This one is about Jane and Lisbon, present day but still features the Carnival. Hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own the Mentalist. **

* * *

Earlier that day while she had been scratching out paperwork, watching the clock with dread and glancing at the phone over and over deciding whether to cancel Jane had appeared in her office. He had that huge grin on her face that she thought about more times than she would care to mention and he had his hands behind his back looking impossibly mischievous. She didn't want to see him. It made the whole situation of that evening ten times harder. He had brought out a flower, a white one, soft with creamy petals and set it on her desk. "It's delightful outside Lisbon" He stated and then proceeded to take a nap on the loveseat.

The door to the restaurant swung to a close behind her. Teresa Lisbon caught herself remembering that lily white flower as she walked and her mood shifted back to frustration. It was eight, the sun beginning to set; way too early to finish a date that had started at six thirty but that was just the way it had gone. Terribly.

She had decided against going home. Going to bed early or sitting on her couch in the quiet would require thinking and then thinking about her thoughts. No, she was going to CBI headquarters, which would be empty after a rare day with no cases, with a plan to get her head down in some paperwork. After years on the job she knew it was a great way to get your mind off things.

The first thing she did was head to her office and take out the spare pair of black pants and a white blouse from her desk drawer. With a moment's hesitation she pulled open the drawer below it, taking a quick glance at a little paper frog that sat there before abruptly shutting it again and shaking her head.

Inside her own four walls it was dark but light was on over where her team worked. Van Pelt's head was visible, bobbing as she wrote and Lisbon had a hunch that Jane was on the couch. Why wouldn't they go home? Or you know, to their attic? She didn't want to see anyone. But she wanted out of this God awful dress.

"So the date was a bust huh?" Jane's voice rose from the couch as she unsuccessfully tried to creep past. Why did she ever think she had a chance? She groaned.

"It was fine" Lisbon put on a smile and poked her head round the glass. Jane swung his grey shoes round and planted them on the floor, sitting up and stretching. Van Pelt acknowledged her with an "I am not getting involved" smile and then turned back to her work.

"What was wrong with him?" Jane asked.

"Nothing. He was fine. The date was fine"

"So he was a jerk?"

"I already knew he was a jerk" Rigsby's voice startled her from behind before she could even protest. Both he and Cho had appeared out of the kitchen, the former clutching a huge mug of coffee in one hand and packet of cookies in the other. Seriously, didn't these people have lives and homes and TVs to go back to? Did they exist to irritate the hell out of her?

"Oh Yeh?" Lisbon retorted as the two walked towards their desks. She had met the Doctor at the coffee stand outside the CBI and he had picked her up from her office that day. The four members of her team had peered and grinned annoyingly at the two of them as they were leaving. "How?"

"He had a vibe" Cho replied.

"Yeh" Rigsby said with a wiggle of his eyebrows and plonking himself in his chair "Jerk vibe. It's a thing" He threw a cookie into his mouth.

Cho's lips cracked into a rare smile. Jane chuckled.

Lisbon frowned, torn between annoyed and amused, lost for a comeback. "We just didn't click" She finished. It was easier to put it that way. Even if she had wanted to she couldn't explain that there was nothing wrong with him, but it was all to do with her. She didn't like the where did you grow up questions or the how many siblings questions or what are your colleagues like questions. She couldn't date, she didn't want to. "What are you all still doing here anyway?"

"Leaving" Cho said, putting his arms into his blazer.

"Boss called a meeting after you left" Van Pelt answered.

Rigsby scoffed "Some bogus you are all doing a great job under the circumstances thing. He didn't seem to care that some of us have a lot of paperwork to finish"

"Well maybe you and Cho shouldn't have spent all afternoon playing paper golf then" She had let them because she liked to see them happy. Wayne pulled a "whoops" face and winked at Van Pelt. The redhead rolled her eyes.

"Get it done" Lisbon turned on her heel.

"Aww" Jane called after her as she walked to the bathroom "I liked the dress!"

She smiled.

Feeling increasingly more comfortable in her work clothes and leaving the date behind her she walked to her office. The light was on. Jane lay on her couch, his head in a book he had pulled off her shelf. He snapped it shut and sat up as she entered.

"Hello Lisbon"

"What are you doing Jane?" She sighed, all she wanted was to forget and he was a constant reminder.

"Oh you know. Just reading up on good detective work. Did you know, a detective is at their best when well rested and not overworked"

"Oh yeh?" She said, not really listening, standing with her back to him and pulling out a file she had to work on. She sensed him rise from the couch and move towards her. She sat down at her desk opposite the consultant.

"Yes. And I would say that you, Lisbon, are overworked and not well rested at all"

"Is that so?" She retorted defensively as he leaned over her desk. She didn't want to rest; she wanted to not have to think about anything.

"Well all the evidence is there. You are particularly grouchy, you have terrible bags under your eyes and quite frankly" He peered at her papers "Your handwriting is getting awfully sloppy"

She squared up to him "Go away Jane"

"See this is what I am talking about" He grinned, one of those grins that irked her so much her heart rate increased.

"What do you want? Did you come in here just to insult me or...?"

"Well, since you are so overworked and tired and the book clearly states that that is a bad condition for a policewoman of your stature to be in I propose you go out and have a little fun"

"Uh huh. Go back to your attic Jane" She began writing trying to concentrate on name and age and date, impossible while her attention attracting consultant's eyes were sparkling the way they did.

"Lisbon. The Carnival is in town! Let's go, it will be fun. Just what you need" He stood up, straightening his suit.

"I don't like Carnivals"

"Well, sure you do"

* * *

The "I am not going to stop annoying you until you do what I want" trick worked like a charm. Jane grinned at where Lisbon walked at his side. He hadn't visited Magic Lights in a long time, though he knew every week where it was pitched, sometimes if he ventured close enough he could hear the joyous ruckus that came with it. It wasn't even called Magic Lights anymore, sunshine something instead, but it was most of the same people, the same rides and the same little stalls. It was just as beautiful as it always had been, an illusion of what really went on behind the scenes, and Jane liked the new experience of going there as a visitor. If he wasn't happy, they weren't happy right?

"It's a beautiful evening isn't it?" He threw to Lisbon, who had been quiet since they had left CBI. Always, always, always he wished to cheer her up. If she wasn't happy, he wasn't happy. Jane knew a little of her past from when she had talked, which wasn't often, and he knew more from his general observations and well, reading her file. Maybe that was the reason he loved to see her laugh, liked to see her relax and generally felt she deserved more than life threw at her. She deserved better than him. He added chaos to her life.

Jane never forgot his vendetta; it was always in his mind, always taunting him, always pulling on that inside part of him some people call a soul. But there were times when things comforted him of it. When his frustration and the clues and his brilliance were so loud and crowded in his head and he started to feel sad there were some things that brought him back. The ocean was one. Tea was another. Teresa Lisbon. He needed her tonight. Just to walk next to him and to frown at his quips (he loved watching her get all worked up, that crease in her eyebrows) and to accompany him to the place where his memories lived so brightly.

Sometimes he let her slip before everything else in his priorities and he thought about leaving, which would be the best thing for her. For her not to have to put up with his schemes and his brokenness and for her to get on with her life in peace. But he was selfish. He put himself first. He needed her.

"It is" She said, answering his question about the weather. She was mad at him but the Carnival was getting to her and she was unwinding to the chorus of tinkling music and laughs and softening at the lights and colours. He knew her, well. But that tended to happen, if you studied a subject hard enough of course you would become an expert in it. Patrick was prone to obsession.

"Are you mad at me Lisbon? I didn't force you to come out"

"Pah! You practically did" She pulled her jacket around her defensively but her eyes watched the children at the Hook a Duck and a smile tugged at her lips.

"Free will is an illusion"

"Only with you as a consultant"

He tipped his head to the side, raising an arm in agreement.

"I didn't mean it as flattery" She laughed. "Eurgh, that is going to make him sick" She pointed to a small stand where a clown was serving an incredibly large ice cream to a small boy. Ice cream was a weakness of Jane's. Like green eyes.

"Let's get one!"

"Oh Nah. I am okay"

"Oh come on!" He made a beeline for it, hands in his pocket. "How you doing Sammy?"

"Patrick Jane! Do my eyes deceive me? It's Patrick Jane!"

Lisbon had caught up with him. "Wait, you know the clown?" Then more quietly to herself "Of course you do"

Jane raised his hands still tucked into his Jacket pockets, smiling at both reactions. Life was so boring without the element of surprise. "It's me. Sammy this is Teresa Lisbon, my colleague. Lisbon, Sammy"

"I'm his boss" Lisbon shook the clown's hand, a little taken aback but still managing to correct him in spite of it. He liked that.

"Patrick and I grew up together"

"This is the Carnival you worked at?" She asked Jane.

"Worked and lived, ma'am. Carnival is a way of life. Although Mr Big Shot here was always going to leave. Heard you are a policeman now? Tell me it's not true"

"Well, I'm a consultant. I consult things. We'll take two please, strawberry" He turned to Lisbon "That's your favourite right?" He knew it was but questioning it just brought it to her attention that he did. They watched as Sammy the Clown spooned an exponential amount of bubblegum pink ice cream onto two cones, then for show popped half a strawberry on top of each one.

"Seven Dollars"

"Carnies give nothing for free" Jane whispered to Lisbon as he took the Ice Creams and handed over a ten dollar bill. Lisbon protested, as he knew she would.

"Here's my three fifty" She said, trying to hand him the money.

"This is on me"

"Jane. Take the money" She was growing annoyed again. He ignored her. "If you don't take the money I am going to leave it here"

"That's fine" The clown said and she creased her eyebrows at him.

"That would be silly" Jane said calmly, rationally. "Don't be silly Lisbon. Accept the gift"

"I didn't ask for it"

"I know"

They walked again, Sammy calling after Patrick and telling him to come around again. "Don't be stranger"

"Very annoying man. He was a needy child. Used to follow me around"

Quiet fell between them, comfortable. The Carnival continued its routine and Jane watched Lisbon watch everything unfold with that softness in her face that anyone was lucky if they experience, the one he searched for when he didn't feel like winding her up. He stared as Lisbon picked the strawberry off hers and bit into it.

"So how was the date? Really?" He took a bite of his Ice Cream, the taste exploded in his mouth.

"Does it really matter?"

"I was just asking"

Apart from at the CBI, there wasn't really anyone Lisbon interacted with, married to the job, mother to the other agents. He knew it suited her fine because she liked to convince herself that she didn't need anyone. He knew deep down that she wanted to let people in, but a habit of hardness and hiding her own problems for the sake of everyone else was the way she operated. Sometimes she would open up to him; he knew she wanted to even if she didn't really know it herself.

Although Lisbon was like that; when it came to him she fought against everything that she really wanted.

"He asked too many questions"

Jane smiled. "I hate it when people do that"

"And he talked about himself too much"

Those two things contradict but... "Sure"

"The food was awful. He ordered for me"

Not everyone knew that her favourite was strawberry. "Always a dumb move"

"And it was ridiculously overpriced"

"Alejandro's _is _the most over priced restaurant in town"

"He was a snob about paying...wait, how'd you know that's where we went?"

Jane didn't miss a beat "Well, I followed you" He shrugged.

She stopped walking "Why?"

He licked his ice cream, mischief in his eyes, no regets "I don't know. Bored. And to make sure you were alright. He had a "Jerk vibe""

She closed her eyes, mad, Jane suspected.

"I can take care of myself. I don't want you or anyone to protect me Jane" Lisbon walked off.

"Sure you do!" He called after her, spreading his arms wide. "You're subconscious is crying out for it!" He went to play Hook a Duck.

He found her later at Shoot Out The Star. He knew she wouldn't leave. Uncle Rick had died years ago, probably finished off by his own gluttony or maybe someone shot him. It didn't matter, all that mattered was there was a new guy here that Jane didn't recognise and Lisbon didn't either. Her face was set into complete concentration and the little star was being obliterated. Well, obviously not completely.

* * *

"You're good at this Lisbon" He said. It hadn't startled her that he had turned up; it hadn't really startled her that he had followed her on her date. Instead she was trying to shake that glimmer of hope in the pit of her chest, a little flame that flickered on frogs and flowers and ponies that was always stamped out brutally by being left with no ride to get home or not being confided in or by a night in Vegas.

"I am picturing your face"

She finished her round of bullets, straightened and exhaled. She was mad at him but she didn't really want to leave the Carnival. She liked it there.

"Charming. Hey, why are you bothering with this game? It's impossible" He licked the remainder of his ice-cream nonchalantly.

The man on the stand returned with her card. "Sorry Ma'am. Not quite. Do you want to try again?"

Lisbon took the paper off him and stroked at the little red marks. "Nah, no thanks"

"Well, have a great night"

"You too" She smiled. The man behind the booth's eyes were dancing between her and Jane, a smile pulling on his lips. There was something she liked about being seen out with her consultant, especially when it wasn't on the job.

Teresa began walking and Jane followed, crunching the last bit of his ice cream cone annoyingly loud.

"Hey Lisbon I got you something" She stopped and turned around. He held out a fist and opened it dramatically. A plastic frog sat there, a green one with a friendly face and when her consultant curled his fingers round it and squeezed the frog squeaked. _Squeak _Jane's grin stretched impossibly wide _Squeak _Lisbon couldn't help but smile herself, softening at the edges again. _Squeak. _

"A frog? I am guessing that means you're sorry?"

"Do you want him or not? Because I am becoming quite partial to him" Jane held out the frog towards her and she took it, _squeak_. This man was completely and utterly impossible and she couldn't live without him.

Again, she began to walk tucking the little frog into her jacket pocket, and lazily he followed her. The Carnival was now a myriad of lights in a pitch black sky. Lisbon wasn't used to wandering; usually she walked fast to her desired destination. She was enjoying herself.

"You're enjoying yourself aren't you Lisbon?"

She ignored him.

"I told you that you would have fun"

"Yes you did"

"And I was right wasn't I?"

She tried to resist the smile creeping onto her face but he caught it. A few boys flew past the two of them and Lisbon thought of her brothers. She took them to the Carnival once. Jane was looking at her curiously. Sometimes he did that, looked at her like what she was thinking was the most interesting thing in the world and he wanted to know, to read it off her face and from her eyes. She stopped as she watched the boys throw balls at bottles in another of the stands, furry green snakes, fuzzy pandas and sleek elephants watched them from where they sat, ready to be taken home. The boys failed, pushing and shoving each other as they shifted the blame before taking off running again. They watched as a young girl stepped up to have a go. The creaky old man in striped trousers leant over the side and passed her three softballs.

"Sorry little lady" The man said after the girl had thrown her last ball with no luck "You can try again if you have another dollar"

She sighed "I don't have any more money" the girl said, tears pricking in her eyes. Lisbon couldn't abide spoiled children but she got the feeling this child wasn't one. Her dirty blonde hair was a mess and her jeans baggy at the knees, she couldn't have been more than seven or eight but she seemed to be alone, no parents or older siblings to speak of.

"Then I am sorry, I can't let you have another go. Next please" He roughly discarded the child and moved on to look for another sucker. Something started to hurt inside Lisbon as she watched. Jane moved from her side.

"I'll have a go" He said, striding over to the booth. Jane didn't seem to know the man behind it as he deposited the money into the old man's hands with his usual charm, a wiggle of his eyebrows. He turned to the child. "Hi. I am Patrick"

"Hello"

"Are you alright?"

"No. I was trying to win a friend" She said, gazing up at the teddies with a sad longing in her eyes. Her face was round and adorable, though there were bags under her eyes, pale green eyes.

"Where are your parents?" Lisbon questioned in a soft voice, the child had seemed to be brightening at the attention but her eyes fell to her shoes.

"At home. Mommy is sleeping and Daddy went to the bar. He always goes to the bar Ma'am. I wanted to see the elephants. They were amazing"

"I love elephants" Jane smiled, taking the softballs off the man with a nod. He bent down to the girl's height; her gaze followed his finger, pointing at the bottles. "You have to throw it right there, because the people here aren't very nice, so they make it really hard for you to win" and then he straightened up and threw with a power that looked like it had been pent up for an age, the ball smashing the bottles from on top of each other. The young girl laughed, her eyes popping open with surprise and Jane dropped the other softballs onto the table in front of the bewildered Carnie. "That's awkward" He said, looking down at them. He then pointed upwards. "I'll take an elephant please"

"Sure sir. Well done" The old man said through gritted teeth. He handed Jane a fluffy grey elephant.

"This" Jane turned to the little girl "Is Patrick the elephant. If you ever need anything you just have to wish on him and it will come true"

"Thank you!" The girl cried, taking the elephant and then throwing her arms around Jane's legs. "I love you" Jane gingerly patted her head. When she pulled away something caught the little girl's eyes. "Oh, oh"

A teenage girl stormed up to them, she had the same hair and eyes and baggy jeans as the younger one. "Alison! I swear to God" She pulled little Alison into and hug and then said "Don't run away like that okay. I was going to take you to see the elephants!"

"No, you were with that boy. I didn't want him to come"

"Excuse me" Lisbon said, she needed to help somehow, and she couldn't just walk away. "We're the police"

"Oh" The older girl said, a little worry colouring her face "Thanks for looking after my sister but we are leaving now"

"Sure. Bye sweetie" She said to Alison before turning back to her sister "Look if you ever need anything, things get rough at home or...well just call this number" She handed her a card, Agent Teresa Lisbon, CBI. The teenager took it with a frown.

"Whatever" And she tugged her sister away.

"Bye Patrick!" Alison called "You are the nicest Daddy and Mummy I have ever met" Her sister yanked the little girls arm.

Jane laughed, Lisbon standing silently behind her. It was probably time to leave, reality was about to catch up with her and she was tired. Jane had his hands in his pockets, rocking backwards and forwards on his heels. He always pushed everything down underneath his grin.

"Let's go on the Ferris Wheel" He said merrily.

"No way. I don't like them"

"You're not afraid of heights? A tough cop like you?"

"No, it's more the spinning that I don't like" Lisbon had a fear of heights when she was younger, but she didn't mind so much anymore, she liked to sit by the glass screen in the rooftop cafe and watch California for a brief minute before heading back down to work. Still, she didn't like the idea of going round and round and never getting anywhere. But then, she hadn't minded the Ferris Wheel much the last time she was on it, a long time ago.

"It'll be fun Lisbon. Trust me?" He said it like a question but he was already walking and she was already following. She had no reason to but Teresa Lisbon would always trust him.

Little stars were pricking the black night sky and Jane gazed up at them as they waited in line for the Ferris Wheel.

"See that cluster right there, with the three little stars. That's Orion" He lazily pointed to a patch of the sky.

"Really?"

"No idea!" He said, chuckling. She scoffed and then laughed, pulling her blazer tightly around herself. Jane had turned quiet and contemplative, watching everything around him. Something hung between them, or maybe she was imagining it, maybe she was noticing it because she knew it was there.

"Are you cold Lisbon?"

"I am alright" She wondered for a second if he would give her his jacket, he was wearing a thick blue coat, the collar turned up at the edges against the wind. They moved up in the line.

"I'll make you a cup of tea when we get back to the office"

She shook herself mentally. Of course he wasn't going to give her his jacket, this was not a date. Patrick Jane was a troubled man with a vendetta against his wife's killer, a wife he loved so much that even after so many years he kept searching for the man who took her from him. She couldn't date, she didn't want to. Even if it the date was with Patrick Jane.

* * *

He paid for the ride quickly while Lisbon was watching some children off in the distance, widening his eyes dramatically at Cyrus and putting a finger to his lips. He ushered her through the barrier as quickly as he could, he wanted her to remember just before they went home, holding off exposing himself as her childhood Carnie angel.

It had clicked with Jane where he had met Lisbon before about two years into working with her, which was an usually long period of time for him but he had had a traumatic couple of years. By then they had already established their relationship, close friends, two emotionally broken people who sometimes confided in each other and sometimes left each other alone, he pulled stunts behind her back, she continued to defend him. He was attached to her. He kept his secret warm in his heart, the plot twist of them having met as young teenagers. He didn't really know why he didn't tell her, maybe because it hurt a little that she knew him before he was so terribly shattered and twisted, maybe it was the nostalgia, the idea of what they could have been. Maybe he just liked knowing things others didn't. And he loved surprises.

"Ow! Stop... pushing me. Jane!"

"Sorry" He said, waving a hand in front of him to gesture for her to sit then fit himself in snug next to her.

* * *

His thigh against hers, her arm against his, she could feel the warmth from Patrick Jane's body, or maybe that was the warmth from her own body. Both were mingling together, she was tightly packed into the little seat as it began to move, clunking and clicking, she would have been nostalgic if she wasn't so present in the current situation and trying so hard to stay there, rather than wandering off into the distant future that would probably never happen. It was faster than she remembered before, but maybe that was her age, and this Carnival was just as beautiful. The lights and the colours and the music all triggered in her that teenage hope and longing that she used to experience. She smiled; this wasn't so bad at all.

Patrick Jane whooped beside her, throwing his arms in the air and laughing.

"Lisbon!" He called "Try no hands"

"Pah. Jane, are you trying to get me killed?" She quipped with a smile, still gripping tightly to the rail.

"Come on! Lighten up. Throw caution to the wind" Without warning, he picked up her hand and pulled it up to the sky with his. She jumped at the contact, almost losing balance in her seat. Jane just grinned at her. Up here with him she wasn't a cop. She wasn't the boss. She wasn't her usual troubled, grumpy, difficult self. She was a child, a happy one, the kind she might have been long ago but couldn't remember. She started laughing.

"Hey Lisbon!" Jane put their hands down.

"Yeh?" She chuckled.

"Lisbon, why do you keep me around?"

She turned to him. The carefree fun on his face had turned to creases. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I cause you so much trouble. You could just have me fired"

"You close cases" She said. It was her usual textbook, clean answer and it was a lot of the truth sometimes. Up here she added. "I care about you Jane"

"Good. I need you Lisbon. I need you" There was pain in his eyes, the one that was always there but usually hidden behind smiles and schemes. It was loud today, up here.

"I'll be here"

"I have to kill Red John"

"I know Jane"

Silence fell between them, laughter and happiness loud around them. Suddenly Jane smiled again and the ride grinded to a halt.

"That wasn't scary was it Lisbon?" He said light-heartedly.

"Not really, but I am going back to work now"

"Tea all round" He grinned, rubbing his hands together and then waving one for her to exit before him. Maybe going round and round in circles wasn't so bad with Patrick Jane at your side.

* * *

"Patrick Jane!" A voice called as they walked away. They turned. Cyrus hadn't changed an inch, croaky and gap toothed with a spindly beard. "You didn't listen to me. You didn't mind yourself"

"Good to see you too old sir!" Jane said, clapping the Carnie on the back so he almost spat out his twist of corn.

"I don't talk to cops"

"Okay then I won't waste anymore of your time then. A hot cup of tea is waiting for me back at the CBI headquarters. Bye now"

Lisbon stood at his side looking confused. Jane could see the dots in her mind and the pen she was holding trying to connect them.

"You a cop too Miss Green Eyes?" Cyrus tipped back his cap to look at her.

"Yes I..."

Jane watched the click. He rotated on his heel and began to walk away, whistling.

"Hey!" Lisbon said, pointing a finger at Cyrus. She looked from the back of Patrick's coat to the Carnie. "Hey!" She yelled after Jane.

* * *

She used to be a star student. A perfectionist almost to the point of madness, with her head down.

"Teresa, I didn't mean to" Her father dispersed into sobs in her arms. She didn't know where he had been all night. All she knew was that he had come home at seven, while the boys were eating breakfast.

"Tommy. Take your brothers and go to school." She had said, standing up from the table. Silently, they grabbed their bags and left while Dad had yelled and cursed and cried. Now, cutting school, she sat with him on her parent's double bed, smelling vodka and puke as his tears dripped onto her sweater. New bruises flowered into colour on her arms, her cheek red.

"I know" She stroked his hair.

His voice was thick through crying "I just...I miss her so much. I love her. You... look like her. I need her back Teresa. Where is she?" He stared into her eyes. His were Red and painful to look at. She turned. "Bring her back!" He yelled and sobbed.

Now she was failing. She didn't go back to school once he had fallen asleep, mumbling and restless. Instead, she quietly closed the door behind her and walked, nowhere to go and no particular destination. She didn't cry. Instead tears that should have fallen dripped into her heart and became stone.

For some reason she ended up at the Carnival. Except it had moved on and an empty green field unfolded in front of her instead. There were darker patches in the grass where the stands had stood and it still smelt like Cotton Candy and Ice Cream. She felt weirdly disappointed, like she was chasing something that she would never catch. The Carnival boy was gone.


End file.
